Where Does My Suffering Come From

Where Does My Suffering Come From

Suffering is inbuilt in the human experience. Despite our privileged or marginalized positioning, each of us will suffer from time to time. The evolutionary purpose of suffering is to unpack the deepest mysteries of our consciousness, become human, soften our hearts, and deepen our presence, love, and connection with All That Is. 

However, endless and persisting suffering can do the opposite. It can harden our outlook, disconnect, and dissociate from the experience of love and life. Seemingly endless suffering asks us to go on a treasure hunt into our subconscious and unconscious aspects to liberate what torments us. These journeys will be painful and full of landmines. But they will bring the necessary healing, liberation, and growth we need to make something beautiful of our lives. 

In this blog, we highlight the three main origins of suffering to help you navigate your healing journey and know what to look for when choosing a healing professional for support. 

Archaic Suffering

When life’s difficulties or self-destructive impulses don’t make sense or persist despite trying everything or are similar to our families, the cause is most likely archaic. This is ancient suffering from our ancestors, our paternal and maternal bloodline, our soul lineage, our birth country’s historical suffering, and our souls’ unfinished business. All passed down to us through our DNA. This is the non-optional heritage that is part of the human experience. Nobody did anything wrong, but when parents consciously work on these issues, they increase freedom for their children. 

I remember exploring alcohol addiction for someone. In our process, a connection between this person’s rejection of life with his father’s grief of untimely losing his father emerged. Suddenly he saw the addiction in a new light and felt the possibility of saying no to alcohol.  You can see that the forces behind such challenges are outside the conventional therapies domain (like talk therapy) and usually remain unchecked by the power of our thoughts. Shamanic indigenous medicine and systemic family constellations are best suited to organize this level of consciousness. 

Present Suffering

Present suffering is two-fold. It’s everything painful that we go through in life – the abuse, abandonment, loneliness, traumas, failures, racism, sexism, illness, poverty…the list is endless. And then the impact it leaves on us. The actual underlying roots of these challenges can be archaic, but the impact is current. Depending upon the situation, a trusted adviser, friend, specialized healing professional, or institutional support is required. Sometimes all of the above. But the real danger in these situations comes from the impact of the trauma on our brains, thinking, decision making, and perceptions. That’s what complicates reaching out for support and taking it in. The earlier the suffering started in life, the more significant the impact. 

Most people fail to understand that we need to address this impact of trauma to build the inner strength and spaciousness to actually do the deep healing work. Otherwise, we are continually walking in brain fog and struggling with the belief in the possibility of a better life. I remember working with someone who had changed a few therapists because each felt that she wasn’t ready for change. The real problem was that her brain was so foggy from the impact of her troubled childhood that she was checked out. We first addressed this impact, which slowly helped her stay present in the sessions. If you find yourself not making enough progress in your healing journey, try working with a trauma-informed professional who can suggest direct techniques to manage this impact before opening the painful event.

Future Suffering

Every life has an evolutionary arc and a destiny to become who we were born to be. There is a quiet inner voice that is continuously guiding us towards that north star. If we stray too far away from our evolutionary track, something shifts abruptly to bring us back on course. This can show up as sudden death of relationships, careers, and life plans. Or they can linger as constant unhappiness or challenges in a particular path. They are all signs that what we are doing does not align with who we are here to be. Despite the pain, this is an intervention from Grace. These issues are a privilege and here to prevent us from leading a life of imitation and desperation. 

Couple of years ago, I experienced a sudden breakdown with a male spiritual teacher. Before I could make sense of what happened, I had to leave the entire tribe. It turns out my destiny was to come face to face with my wild sacred divine feminine, which would not have revealed itself to me in patriarchal spirituality.  So even when the cause of such issues looks external, the truth is inward. It’s tricky to discern if our suffering is a call from the future and not some unresolved past trauma. This is where someone who has seen life and has a transpersonal spiritual background would greatly help.

Lastly, there is a shared aspect of collective suffering for all of us, but that is a topic for another time. For now, I hope this breakdown makes it a little bit easier to identify where your challenges fall and make informed decisions. 


Increase Your New Year’s Resolutions Success

Increase Your New Year’s Resolutions Success

A New Year brings renewed hope and excitement — the perfect time to vision and make resolutions. However, statistics report that even during the best of times, generally, only 12% of resolutions result in success. Here we are living in unprecedented times. Survival, environmental, and political challenges, coupled with our invisible internal battles, have complicated human experience beyond measure. Our nervous systems are overwhelmed and continuously dysregulated.

This blog talks about three wisdom strategies – Refined Compassionate Dance – to update our resolution ritual and increase the odds of fulfilling them.

# First – Refine your Resolutions List

Collectively we all are seeking authenticity, peace, and purpose. Our priorities have shifted. The shiny elements of life on our bucket list are most likely replaced by something wholesome. The first wisdom is to refine and reprioritize your resolutions. Anything that creates more work and does not improve the quality of our life and internal freedom has no business demanding we work for it. If your resolutions reflect your deepest aspirations that shape your destiny, you will likely stay the course. 

# Second – Dance with the Restraining Forces

Creation is a dance between the restraining and activating forces of life. The activating forces fuels our desires, imaginations, and our will to create. The restraining forces maintain the status quo by showing up as internal/external setbacks. Both the forces are proportional to the level of transformation your creation will bring to life. So, whether your resolution is about transforming your life, business, or society, expect the restraining forces to show up as unexpected challenges. The second wisdom is making emotional room for these forces, building strategies to work through them, creating back up plans, and getting the right kind of support. This will monumentally increase the odds of your success. 

# Third – Build Compassionate Resilience 

There is a certain charm about discipline and perfection when it comes to resolutions. Understandably, most of us do not make room to derail. But sometimes, we drop so low that getting back on track becomes emotionally so painful that giving up is the feasible option. The third wisdom is to toss out perfections and rigid discipline. Compassionately plan for if you derail. Protect your enthusiasm by intentionally embracing messiness, mistakes, detours, and breaks. Build your resilience by making room for love, fun, humor, grief, sickness, and all the ebbs and flows of life. Align your timeline with the realities of life. 

This Refined Compassionate Dance will help you move forward even if the pace at certain times is slower. If you stay the course, a time will come when internally, things have shifted enough to take shape of excitement, consistency, and a firm belief in your success. So hang in there. 

The New World is Coming

The New World is Coming

Our world is in correction mode,

Creating unprecedented upheaval,

Outburst spilled everywhere.

Not one aspect spared,

Not one remains untouched,

We are all in this together,

Yet so many lost in isolation,

Some of us are not going to make it. 


Heavens are dreaming of that humanity,

Where reaching out is normal,

Where speaking truth is expected,

Collective equality and sharing is celebrated. 

Our hearts are not going to settle,

For anything less than that now.


Quiet down, you, incessant noise,

The rush to reach the top of the mountain,

On a good day, I can hear HER breathing,

All will be well now, 

She is leading the way,

The new world is coming. 

I am a WOMAN

I am a WOMAN

I am wild, crazy and funny
Humble, loving, and caring
Intelligent, smart and savvy
Delicate and strong
Light, dark and the shadow
I am an enigma, I am whole
The Divine Mother, I am a WOMAN

I am just saying NO to men
Dominant, arrogant and in your face ones
Humble, helpful, and spiritual ones too
I am saying NO
Don’t gather me around to teach, preach or dazzle
Let’s share ideas instead

I don’t want you to be my teacher
My guru, my leader, my savior or my guide
I don’t need you to show me the light
Can’t you see?
I am born to find my own way

I don’t want to emotional labor
Offering flowers of my silences
Nodding of my trained approvals
I just want you to be my friend
My lover, my partner, and my EQUAL
Nothing more, Nothing less

Come to me in that spirit
And I might let you into the secret gardens of my Universe
Where gentle and delicate dreams are cooked
Portals of Love and Passion being brewed
Hiding the mysteries of life in my womb

Be still and quiet for a moment
You might just learn a thing or two !!

How to Explain that Social Activism is Spirituality

How to Explain that Social Activism is Spirituality

A lot of us struggle with the relationship between spirituality and activism. Capitalism has turned spirituality into an isolated pursuit of love and light. Concepts of our innate divinity are being used to turn a blind eye from the gross injustices and oppression that our social systems are built upon. Which further perpetuates oppression, racism, colonization, patriarchy, and poverty. And continues the vicious cycle of blaming the victim for their state. Privilege and innocence blind us to the fact that one can rise into spirituality only when our fundamental physical and financial needs are met. 

Those who care and feel for the world around them, organically know that being spiritual means showing up for life around you. Not everyone can pitch in equally. Which is understandable. But there are many who are confused about the link between spirituality and social activism. So how do we speak the truth to them?

Initially, spiritual growth brings the internal organization to make peace with our suffering and create meaning in our lives. We also build the necessary self-love, self-worth, confidence, and excitement to tap into creativity and possibilities. But with the advancement in spirituality, we start transcending our identities tied with just our physical form. That means our consciousness starts to expand our concept of Self no longer ties to just that one body that we seem to live in.

Everything that exists – all humans of all colors and all races living in all countries, all animals, all of the environment, all of the solar system, all of the Universe is understood and experienced as SELF. If any life is in pain, we feel that pain. With an increase in spirituality – we feel more, we relate more, we love more, we give more, we receive more, we become responsible for more, and we stand up for more – BECAUSE WE REALIZE WE ARE MORE.

Social justice, equality, community, and the divine right to belong become a right for each part of our Self. We feel pain when one part of our Self violates others. We will not decorate one part of our Self to let the other rot. Therefore our level of spirituality is reflected in the depths of our compassion, love, service, and responsibilities in action. 

Spirituality is being a Social and Political Activist.

Spirituality is Showing up and Engaging.

Spirituality is Whole Self Love.